Were you one of those kids who had to ask to be excused at the dinner table? I bet you're still looking for permission to be happy, make more money, please your boss and speak your truth. Do yourself a favor... excuse yourself!
It's tough living in our heads. Self-validation feels so corny and unsatisfying compared to full fledged approval from our friends, family and cohorts. I see so many people seeking approval from those they barely respect or admire and I wonder what on earth motivates them?
If you don't care for the poor soul you are seeking attention from then at least allow them the right to scowl at you, dislike your fashion sense, hairstyle, recent blog post or updates on Facebook. What's the worst that could happen? They think you have lousy taste? They wouldn't choose that halter top from BCBG, let alone put it together with the skirt from DKNY?
We seem to have an acceptable double standard when it comes to taste and style. We reserve the right to reject advances from undesirables, yet obsess with abandon if we don't get a return email from the 'hot suitor' on eHarmony. We ask to be excused as we barge through a fellow shopper or bystander at the mall. Actually we don't ask, more demand 'excuse me!' As if it were a choice.
Yup, it's all gone horribly wrong, yet it just comes down to risk. There is a certain tedium in plowing through our dilemmas alone, no one to burden with our inner struggles over crucial decisions. If you're a Libra then you really know what I'm talking about.
I once was on a blind date with a Libra who literally wrestled for 20 minutes over the menu, only to burst into tears 30 seconds after the waitress ran her order over to the kitchen. Another one of my charming snide remarks to her about her culinary assay? Not even close... she just felt awful about ordering the wrong dish! Now that's no honorable battle, I thought. And so it is with decisions for us all.
Of course we want to do the right thing, make the right move and feel triumphant in our every endeavor, but there is just no substitute for taking risks. How would we ever figure out who we are if we didn't learn to stand for something. Even a little toddler goes for it when making his first attempts at standing and walking and keeps getting back up after days of toppling. It's in our genes to persevere, or we would have been wiped out millennia ago.
So, stop cheating the system and thinking you're going to get away with avoiding the risk of disapproval. If you demand the right to object and disagree with others, (especially my views on these posts) then your antagonists will be coming for you. Be prepared, not scared. There is also a huge bonus waiting for you on the other side of that abyss… liberation!
Imagine the freedom coming your way and the additional reserves of energy you will have available to you, usually tied up in self-torment. But, be forewarned, as you might awaken a sleeping giant once you shatter the shackles of people-pleasing.
So, go ahead... do yourself a favor and excuse yourself!
Well, Excuse Me! by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.