Beyond Guilt

Say NO to Guilt! It isn’t even a real emotion; it’s as if we feel obliged to take on the feelings of someone close to us who needs us to feel their disappointment.

If there is one suggestion I can make to those of you needlessly suffering with "phantom" feelings of guilt... let it go - FAST! Whether you have a Jewish mum or a Baptist father, a needy room mate or co-dependent enabler, a stalking ex- or whining dog on the couch, DO NOT GET SUCKED IN!!

There seem to be many heavily-laden associations with guilt that we should understand before wholeheartedly succumbing to it.

Who taught us to feel responsible for their own disappointments? Who told us what we should be feeling or how we ought to respond? It's not necessarily just our parents or grandparents. We learned it from TV shows, movies, novels, Police Officers, Headmasters, Sergeant Majors and Referees.

Disapproving Look

It's in that "disapproving look" and dismissive turn of the head. The stern, harsh glance away and squint of the...

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Well, Excuse Me!

Were you one of those kids who had to ask to be excused at the dinner table? I bet you're still looking for permission to be happy, make more money, please your boss and speak your truth. Do yourself a favor... excuse yourself!

It's tough living in our heads. Self-validation feels so corny and unsatisfying compared to full fledged approval from our friends, family and cohorts. I see so many people seeking approval from those they barely respect or admire and I wonder what on earth motivates them?

If you don't care for the poor soul you are seeking attention from then at least allow them the right to scowl at you, dislike your fashion sense, hairstyle, recent blog post or updates on Facebook. What's the worst that could happen? They think you have lousy taste? They wouldn't choose that halter top from BCBG, let alone put it together with the skirt from DKNY?

We seem to have an acceptable double standard when it comes to taste and style. We reserve the right to reject advances from...

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