Ever feel like a damsel in distress lying in wait for your knight only for him to be too busy shining his armor? Have I got some tips for all of you choosing unavailable men...
It must be the most consistent trait I see in virtually every woman I have counseled; choosing Sir Lacks-a-lot!
(As you'll soon see, this phenomenon equally applies to many of my gay friends)
It's as if there's some kind of medieval dormant gene in your psyche that summons forth the Barren Knight to awaken. Of course, you don't see this most elusive hidden quality in yourselves, let alone your suitors, but you'll agree that it's a self-defeating pattern that always ends in tears.
Let's understand this nasty ancient curse.
An honest fair maiden eagerly awaits her soul mate to sweep her off her feet and over the threshold, only to discover that her knight is merely passing through, en route to his next joust. So many gauntlets... but few hands that fit. You would have thought that his iron-clad armor was enough of a clue that he wouldn't be too inwardly mobile.
By that I mean that unavailable men do not introspect! For in order for them to look inside themselves, they would have to ask for assistance to remove their armor and therein lies the root of your curse...
First and foremost, there is a reason he wears an iron suit. Nothing is getting through that wall, least of all you!
'Tis brave a man who can remove his mask and look deep within his soul's yearning.
Um, sorry that is not your man.
You will also recognize him by his frugality of purse (he's cheap!) and it's no consolation seeing his generous potential if it will take him a lifetime to spend it. Remember... generous of heart, plentiful in love; benevolent in spirit, abundant in his spiritual growth. But, iron clad in his proclamations, ample chagrin for a damsel's needs.
Pay attention to the way he talks about women, all women. Mothers, sisters, ex-wives, bosses, girlfriends, co-workers, the lot. He will soon be talking about you the same way. How might that sound?
Getting dismayed yet?
Then there's the matter of manners. Does he have a code of honor he lives by? Does he open your doors, pull out your chair, walk behind you and return your calls promptly? Well, 3 out of 4 'aint bad!
There is another way to choose your man wisely. Check the quality of his raw materials! That may sound vulgar, but I'm referring to his core qualities and values that make him the man he is.
You wouldn't build your dream home from rotten wood, cracked beams and flimsy tiles, so why settle for less than 'Grade A' quality man stuff! You need to see that his integrity is consistent, that his deeds match his words, his honor lies in tact and his reputation is first class among his peers.
Never met his fellow knights and elders or notice he's become distant and aloof? Sure, give him his SPACE so he can work through how much he loves you, just not that in love with you! (Brutal)
If you're honest with your 'man choice', how much of these qualities did you check before you plunged into commitment escrow?
Be not dismayed and have faith in this... In every curse there lies a blessing.
An opportunity to look deep into your soul, and ask earnestly if it is the knight who disappoints, or the maiden who deceives herself?
Will this riddle be solved by he who pursues or who peruses the clues?
Curse of The Unavailable Man (A Knight To Forget!) by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.