Essential Qualities for Lasting Connection

With the disheartening statistics of divorce in mind, I took it upon myself to find out what men and women really look for as essential qualities for true lasting connection... The results are as old fashioned as apple pie!

With a little help from my Facebook Friends...

For the purpose of exploring real desires of men and women, I gathered the responses of  75 women and 60 men from two different questions: (I changed the question for the men since they tend to focus on physical qualities rather than on deeper needs)

Ladies: What is the most essential quality you look for in a man?

Their responses covered over 20 different qualities with the 2 most popular qualities being INTEGRITY and FUNNY.

Yes, ladies, it seems that if a bloke has a good enough sense of humor and makes you laugh, (while not taking himself too seriously) you'll forgive him, even if he's acting like a stubborn selfish jerk! If he happens to have kind eyes and opens the door for you, that might well be grounds...

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Why Women Test Men

The "battle of the sexes" would appear to be alive and thriving in our homes, businesses and communities. I use the term battle loosely as I believe there to be a big misconception about the function and purpose of conflict between men and women.

How Dare You...

Many of the men I coach express frustration at the endless testing they receive from their wives or girlfriends and even become insulted that the tests do not stop. Well, it's no wonder they are further aggravated to learn from me that the tests are not supposed to stop! Hmmm.

It's an important re-frame and perspective shift I give men and I feel it would be helpful to clue the ladies in on exactly why we welcome your tests.

Picture a wintry scene with the first snow fall covering the ground and a small pond frozen over at the end of the garden. Your small children excitedly run to try their best figure of eights, but you grab them by the scruff of the neck and urgently yell "Hold on there kids - not so fast!!"

As their ...

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Curse of The Unavailable Man (A Knight To Forget!)

Ever feel like a damsel in distress lying in wait for your knight only for him to be too busy shining his armor? Have I got some tips for all of you choosing unavailable men...

It must be the most consistent trait I see in virtually every woman I have counseled; choosing Sir Lacks-a-lot!

(As you'll soon see, this phenomenon equally applies to many of my gay friends)

It's as if there's some kind of medieval dormant gene in your psyche that summons forth the Barren Knight to awaken. Of course, you don't see this most elusive hidden quality in yourselves, let alone your suitors, but you'll agree that it's a self-defeating pattern that always ends in tears.

Let's understand this nasty ancient curse.

An honest fair maiden eagerly awaits her soul mate to sweep her off her feet and over the threshold, only to discover that her knight is merely passing through, en route to his next joust. So many gauntlets... but few hands that fit. You would have thought that his iron-clad armor was enough...

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