JAMIE GREENE

I'm going to talk to you today about what I call a corrective marriage vow, what a marriage vow should be because clearly what it tends to be is not working, not when the divorce rate is well over 50%, probably 70% at this point. So what I mean by corrective is this: rather than marriage most being "I promise I am going to do this" and "I'm sure you're going to do that till death us do part" and "I do" and all that kind of stuff.

Really what it comes down to and it's a little bit more elaborate, but what I talk to my couples about is this: what marriage vows should be, is along the lines of...

"Look I know I bring a lot of baggage that pre-existed before I even met you and I know I'm bringing it with me into the relationship; some of it I've worked through, some of it I haven't, but I know it's there. And there are going to be times when I'm going to blame you or project on to you that you are the baggage or that you are responsible for me having baggage and I know now that is not...

Is there such a thing as a divorce being a success? Well there really is and I don't mean who ends up with more bang for their buck in court or who walks away with less custody arrangement. I'm talking about a mature completion of a relationship.

I've always said that divorce does not screw up kids. Kids are very resourceful, they like two of everything, no problem; two houses, two sets of X-box, not a problem. It's really the maturity or lack of maturity between the parents that can potentially do the damage. So, if you've got two people who are really destructive, angry, resentful, bitter, talking crap about each other to the kids – all of the no-nos, clearly that's not going to be very successful.

See You In Court!

So what does it mean to be a success? I certainly don't mean to make light of this or minimize the impact of it but what it really comes down to is the honoring of that relationship. I've spent many years helping couples go through this process because, let's...